Who is more likely to ruin a sporting event?

In the Round of 32, Critical-Theory fans obliterated my faith in them and humanity. Among the travesties: Ayn Rand lost to Gilles Deleuze and Diogenes lost to Jacques Derrida (perhaps C-T readers are more comfortable with public masturbation than intellectual masturbation). The good news: Former overrated champion Noam Chomsky was knocked out by Martin Heidegger (his friends, after all, ruined the 1936 Olympics) and Jean Baudrillard knocked out Slavoj Zizek.

Now, in the Bitter 16, who will make it to the Elite 8 of sporting event ruiners?