Last year, we investigated one of the most pressing questions of our day, namely, who is the most overrated philosopher of them all?

You all voted and declared anarchist, linguist and philosopher Noam Chomsky the overrated champion over Adam Smith.

And while some petite bourgeois imposters have sprung about, we’ve decided to examine another fascinating question. Of philosophy’s many personalities, which is most likely to ruin a sporting event?

Is it Diogenes, who rushes the field, rambling “I’m looking for an honest man!” while violently shaking Bill Belichick? Can that compare to the $8 hot dog ruined by Jacques Lacan who reminds you “the phallus is in the bun,” or Karl Marx’s multiple aborted attempts to retake the means to produce “the wave” for proletariat revolution?

 

Since many of you, like myself, will stand quietly by as “normal” people emphatically discuss March Madness and the massive exploitation of college athletes – I’ve created this to create the illusion that we’re all involved in current events.

Vote below. Round one ends at the end of this week, so get those votes in! Include your imaginary scenarios in the comments. Apologies in advance for calling Ayn Rand a philosopher.